608 - Calvert Cliffs
Today we hit a 90’s party full of boomers in the Maryland goonies.
It all started when Alara and I drove by a billboard on Highway 4 that said “90’s Beach Party, This Way →” I checked the date, absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to be tonight. It was.
Well, add that to the itinerary. Nothing better than checking out the nightlife of small American towns. But before we could party, we had business to attend to.
The name of the game today was the Calvert Cliffs- a small set of cliffs along the Maryland coastline that made it to State Park status. Judging by the photos, it looked like an average California beach. But we were on the east coast- if there was anything besides sand on the beach out here, they turned it into a State Park.
Which, I’m not complaining about- the more State Parks, the better. The point is that I’ve come to manage my expectations out here.
Alara and I pulled into the parking lot just before sunrise, so we gulped down some canned lattes to get the blood pumping. We were gonna need it.
I just talked about the arrival of spring in my last adventure, it sure as hell wasn’t spring today. The entire walk to the cliffs, a mile or two in total, was an icy oblivion of dead trees.
Here’s one such example of a tree, shrouded by the ides of winter:
Desolate, huh? Tell that to my hands, which were starting to wonder where all the warmth from the car had gone.
We kept walking through the shadows of dawn, until slivers of the sunrise began to peep through the trees. Even though it was blisteringly cold out, the ducks were somehow managing to keep it together, so I snagged a photo of a few here:
Nothing like a nice silhouette.
We kept going, and eventually arrived at the infamous Calvert Cliffs. It was vaguely neat, but nothing to write home about. It was basically some sandy, 30 foot cliffs on the shore. I’d become too jaded by the lusters of the west coast.
After walking along the coastline a little further, we eventually decided to turn around and read the trail sign, namely out of pure boredom. Unbeknownst to us, the beach had a reputation for fossils- which was a characteristic rarely seen out on the west coast. Alright, Maryland, alright. I see you.
I looked down, and began to notice that within the hundreds of torn shells washing ashore, some of them had plant engravings on them. And the more I looked, the more I noticed. What in the… An ancient history was unraveling itself before our eyes.
Admittedly, my perspective began to shift- what originally seemed like a bummer of a location was slowly turning into something magical. At least on a micro level. You know, there’s probably a life lesson in that somewhere, but I don’t really want to extract it.
We snagged a fossil for safekeeping and went on our way.
Now let’s skip to the end of the night when we decided to attend the local 90s party. Mainly because nothing happened during the day except food-related shenanigans.
And just like the Calvert Cliffs, it wasn’t exactly a California party either. It was a solid, “I'm 40 years old, fresh out of a divorce, and trying to relive my 20s through the 90s party.” Not that I was judging. I’d be doing the same thing if I lived in bumfuck Maryland my whole life.
Let me paint the picture for you. To my left was a fifty year old dude wearing a fur coat, with a snap-back hat that said “Body Count.” In his arms was an overweight goth chick melting in his arms as he went for a kiss. To my right was a group of moms overdosed on makeup, fake boobs, and sugar-laced cocaine. At the center was the bar, chock-full of creatures my imagination wouldn’t even dare to dream up.
This was the kind of culture shock I lived for.
Despite being the youngest people there, the crowd welcomed us with open arms. So we indulged. A couple blue drinks here, a couple red drinks there, and the next thing you know we were belting out Backstreet Boys with the real OGs of Maryland.
You know, maybe the east coast wasn’t so bad after all. The devil was just in the details.
I’m on a mission to explore as much as humanely possible.
Want to see my progress? Check out the Adventure Map.
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