574 - EY-Parthenon
To distract myself from the madness of last week, I decided to go on a date with another chick.
Get my mind off things a bit. There’s an old saying to get over someone called, GFTOW. It stands for “Go Fuck Ten Other Women.” It’s a practice to follow whenever you can’t stop thinking about one person.
Now, ten is probably excessive here, but I had a feeling 1-2 would do the trick for this little love spell I found myself in.
Is that too much information? I don’t even know. At this point I’m just typing whatever pops in my head. If you don’t like it, go read Shakespeare.
Anyway, I met this new chick on Hinge, invited her out for dinner, and yadda yadda yadda. We hit it off because she was a runner too. (There’s nothing more attractive.) It also meant our whole date was gonna be sober, because she had a race the next day.
Which honestly, was fine by me. Alcohol was the last thing my moldy brain needed right now. Fish n’ chips is what I really needed right now.
We decided to eat at a downtown pub, which is where I realized that every restaurant in Boston is exactly the same. Neighborhood Irish pub with a touch of formality. And throw in a couple American flags for good measure.
Once we sat down, I immediately put in a fat order of fried fish with extra french fries. Not the most attractive food for a date night, I know. But I didn’t really care- I needed calories. Badly. I’d just run a half marathon the day before, and hadn’t had a chance to fill my deficit yet.
She got a salad, which I found surprising for a runner. Turns out, she’s a vegetarian and had dietary restrictions. Beep beep. Red flag.
Not the vegetarian part, mind you. I can understand that.
It’s the dietary restrictions part that gets me. Unless you have Celiacs or something that actually prevents you from eating things, you’re most likely a dumbass.
From there it was a pretty standard date. I could sense undertones of adventure in her language though, which I liked. Then five minutes later, she admitted she had an undercover mission setup for this date. Hah! I knew it.
She explained how we had to break into an office building, steal her friend’s bike, then ride it back to her house. Why? I have no idea. But it sounded fun.
“I’m in.”
And thus began my second tour of Boston led by a random Hinge chick. It was a Friday night so this time we went through a Kris Kringle market, explored Boston Harbor, and asked strangers about the history of the town. Turns out, a surprising amount of people know about Boston’s revolutionary days.
And that’s when I stumbled upon this gem:
“America’s Finest”
Taken with Sony a7rIII + Sony 12-24mm f/4 G
[ISO 4000 ~ 12mm ~ f/5.6 ~ 1/60s]
(Want a Print? Get one here.)
Here’s a side view of that building, which looked like a face to me:
“Devil’s Smirk”
Taken with Sony a7rIII + Sony 24-105mm f/4 G
[ISO 4000 ~ 63mm ~ f/4 ~ 1/100s]
(Want a Print? Get one here.)
It’s called the EY-Parthenon, which sounds like something straight out of an Alien movie. And yeah, that’s me standing under the flag for scale. This thing was absolutely massive.
The amount of American pride in this city is so wholesome. Oh yeah, and the Boston Tea Party happened right down the street from here.
I really wanted to figure out a way to tie that into this story, but I couldn’t figure out a connection for the life of me. Turns out “taxation without representation” doesn’t have many overlapping themes with date night.
ONWARDS.
Eventually we arrived at her friend’s office building, where we spent the next 20 minutes or so looking for a way in. Suddenly a person walked out, and we snagged the doorway. Then we made our way down to the basement, found her friend’s bike nestled in a dark corner, and took it like thieves in the night.
Mission accomplished.
I swear giving dates an objective makes them so much more fun.
On the way back, we did the whole cute couple thing where you awkwardly ride a bike together. It was pretty charming, even though we almost ran over several people.
Finally we made it back to the Prius, where I showed her the setup then kissed her goodnight. I wasn’t feeling a sexual vibe with this chick, so I didn’t even bother to go for it.
Maybe she was too wholesome? Or maybe I realized that sex wasn't the answer. Or maybe it was a weird combination of both.
But dinner, a break-in, and a solid photo? I’ll take that any night. I was already starting to feel better from my little mishap. Sometimes a little adventure is all I need.
Alright. I promise my next shoot won’t be on a date. But I might start peppering these romance tales in every once in a while… A lil’ drama never hurt anybody.
Stay tuned for the next episode, where my Prius dies at Harvard University.
BYE.
I’m on a mission to explore as much as humanely possible.
Want to see my progress? Check out the Adventure Map.
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